Friday, June 27th was “Stick With it Marriage Day.” There were articles on
MSN and Yahoo about famous couples (Tori &
Dean) who chose to stick with their marriage after conflict. It is ironic because Todd and I were having a
horrible argument pretty much that entire week!
After seeing that Friday was Stick with it Marriage Day, I thought about
how fitting it was.
People often say that they married their best friend. Admittedly, I am a bit jealous when I hear this being stated because I did not marry my best friend. Not at all. If Todd and I were not married, I don’t feel I would associate with him. I am not saying this because I am being mean or because we are in the middle of some rough times: I am saying it because it’s the truth.
Over the past several months I have learned of several people that I know through work and through friends or family that are getting divorced. Their reason? “I just don’t love him like that anymore.” Are you kidding me?!? That is not grounds for divorce in my opinion.
Todd and I are going through a really rough time right now. I am COMMITTED to making this marriage work as I have for the past 7 ½ years. It would be so easy to walk away (and I believe that there are grounds in our marriage for divorce), but I CHOOSE to stick it out. Just like I CHOSE to marry this man: for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
I have been working hard on taming my biting tongue while in conflict and trying to be more subservient in our marriage. This has pretty much gone unnoticed but I know deep down that I am being the best wife to Todd that I can by serving him...whether or not he notices. It is difficult because I am so selfish and I will not say that I succeed in doing this all.the.time, but I try. And really, what more can I do?
I am not looking for praise or approval, I just wanted people to see that not every marriage is a happy one, not all times are bliss. What may be portrayed online with smiling photos of fun outings with the hubby is not how our marriage is 100% of the time. Marriage is a lot of hard work, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of pain. But in the good times, it can be so rewarding as well: Even if he’s not my best friend. I choose to stick with our marriage not just on Friday, but every day.
And just as a side note, I highly recommend reading this article about sticking it out even when marriage is difficult.